The Plot Twist I Never Expected… And How I’ve Learned to Accept It

After just one stride, I knew something wasn’t right.  I’d always run through anything—be it sickness, rain, or depression—but today was different.  Today, in the midst of training for my second half-marathon, my whole body felt like it was made of lead, and no matter how hard I tried I could barely pick up my legs.

I shuffled down the road for two miles before the frustration of a terrible performance got the best of me, and I dragged myself home, now dizzy from exhaustion. I went to bed in the hopes that I could sleep it off… Continue reading “The Plot Twist I Never Expected… And How I’ve Learned to Accept It”

In Response to Your Lyme Questions…

Ever since I announced my Lyme diagnosis, I’ve been inundated with questions from readers. While I’m not qualified to give anyone medical advice, I’ll gladly share my own personal experiences.  Given the number of messages I’ve received, I figured I should answer the most common questions in a post for all of you, so here you go: Continue reading “In Response to Your Lyme Questions…”

The PANDAS Games

Does anyone ever win the PANDAS Games?
Does anyone ever win the PANDAS Games?

During one of my many insomniac nights recently, I found myself watching the second Hunger Games movie, Catching Fire. While I knew this wouldn’t exactly soothe me to sleep, there was one quote in particular that’s haunted me continuously:

Haymitch: No one ever wins the Games… There are survivors. There are no winners.

Continue reading “The PANDAS Games”

Recovery Is Possible!

Sometimes just when you think it's hopeless, you get better!
Sometimes just when you think it’s hopeless, you get better!

Okay, I’m keeping it shorter this week, because I’m doing so well that I’ve been extremely busy! As I’ve said in the past, the better I’m doing, the less I tend to post and tweet, because I’m away from the blog living my life.

Continue reading “Recovery Is Possible!”

Goodbye, Anorexia?

Did I really eat a restaurant without having a panic attack?
Did I really eat a restaurant without having a panic attack?

This week, I reached a turning point in recovering from my eating disorder.

Up until now, although I’ve known how destructive my restricting has been to my body and though part of me wanted to stop, anorexia had so much control over me that I wasn’t completely willing to give it up. I said a few weeks ago that I was going to start treatment for it, but honestly, I was so depressed the day of the appointment that I couldn’t get out of bed and just cancelled it.

Continue reading “Goodbye, Anorexia?”

Why I’m Throwing Up My Hands

How much can I let PANS steal this time?
How much can I let PANS steal this time?

Until a few days ago, I was certain I wouldn’t return to college this semester. Between my crippling depression, incapacitating executive function and concentration issues, and my physical weakness from POTS, living independently in less than two months while taking senior-level classes seemed like an impossibility.

Continue reading “Why I’m Throwing Up My Hands”

POTS & PANS: A Recipe for Disaster?

My body is cooking up trouble with POTS and PANS
My body is cooking up trouble with POTS and PANS

“You’re going to hate me when I tell you this,” my cardiologist said this week.

I braced myself to be told my heart was damaged from Rheumatic Fever—or to be told my symptoms were all in my head, as so many doctors had said over the years…

Continue reading “POTS & PANS: A Recipe for Disaster?”