Why I’m Thankful

It was a paleo Thanksgiving at my house this year...
It was a paleo Thanksgiving at my house this year…

With Thanksgiving this week, as I returned home and sat around the table with my family, despite flaring recently, I couldn’t help but be thankful for the progress I’ve made over the last year-and-a-half that allowed me to be at that table—and for the family surrounding me, who helped me get there.

As awful as the latest flare was, now that I’ve switched my antibiotic to Azithromycin and am doing better, I’m all the more grateful for everything I have. It may sound like a cliché, but it’s true that there’s nothing like losing something to make you understand its value…

Continue reading “Why I’m Thankful”

When Strep Attacks…

Once again, I've been taken over by a flare.
Once again, I’ve been taken over by a flare.

Last Friday, I would’ve said I was 100% symptom-free. I went the whole day with no tics or OCD symptoms or depression, and most astonishing of all, I could pay attention in class. My mind was the clearest it’d been in years.

But just as I’d put my life back together after the last flare, it suddenly fell apart.

Continue reading “When Strep Attacks…”

Can Hamburgers Stop Flares?

I’ll be the first one to admit that there’s pretty much nothing good about having flares or having to take all of the antibiotics and other medications that I take. But, sometimes, in the craziness of it all, I just have to laugh at my circumstances—especially when there’s a hamburger on my bottle of Cefdinir, which I only acquired because of a flare…

After five days of an increased Prednisone dose the other week, I was starting to come out of the mud of depression and brain fog. I almost thought I was okay. My psychiatrist had me double my Wellbutrin to help what was left of the depression, and I was almost hoping that would be enough.

But then the PANDA bear grabbed me again. Continue reading “Can Hamburgers Stop Flares?”

PANDAS, Described in 1 Word

"Sometimes I just get terrified." 17-year-old me unknowingly describing PANDAS.
“Sometimes I just get terrified,” said 17-year-old me at the beginning of this exacerbation.

To be faced with PANDAS is to have a lot of debilitating symptoms and feelings all at once that, in essence, make you lose who you are. There is much to say about what it feels like to have PANDAS, but if I had to sum up my experience in one word, I would say…

Terror.

Continue reading “PANDAS, Described in 1 Word”

Why I Run in the Rain

My PANDAS is a rain storm that seems it will never stop...
My PANDAS is a rain storm that sometimes seems it will never stop…

It’s 8 AM on a Saturday, and rather than sleeping in as you might expect for a college student, I’m lacing up my running shoes and getting ready to bolt across town.

However, this weekend, when I opened my blinds, I almost pulled the covers back over me; I saw it was raining with no sign of stopping.

I’d never run in the rain before, and the mere idea of it caused the shivers. I had so much homework, and the only time I had to spare was in the morning.  But I love running so much.  How could I let a little bad weather keep me from it?

Continue reading “Why I Run in the Rain”