Dear Sick, Scared 2015 Me… A Letter to Someone Whose Illness Uprooted Their Life

Dear 2015 me,

I know you feel like a stranger in your own life right now while you’re the sickest you’ve ever been with PANS. I know you’re scared, lonely, and unsure if there will ever be anything more to your life than this illness that attacked your brain and kidnapped you from your own body. I know you feel invisible because of all the hours you’re trapped in your room and all the days when you’re trapped in a mind you no longer recognize. You feel unseen because no one knows how much it takes for you to accomplish what others take for granted.

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Home from Partial Hospitalization

Last I wrote, I had resolved to do whatever it took to stay in the Partial Hospitalization program. And guess what happened? I left the program. 😬

Part of it is that my insurance only approved a certain number of days. I could have fought for more. However, the more I thought about the whole program, the more I began to realize why it was time to go home.

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