Advice • The Dreaming Panda

4 Things I Learned from 4 Years of Blogging… And an Announcement!

Published on June 20, 2018 by DreamingPanda8 Comments

What in the world have I done?! I thought to myself.

A wave of panic ran through me, and my heart began to pound as I stared back at the computer screen. I couldn’t believe it finally happened. I’d exposed myself before the whole world—my life story, in front of any eyeballs that landed upon it. Despite everything in me saying I shouldn’t be sharing so much, I’d just published the first post on this blog. But there was no turning back now. Continue reading “4 Things I Learned from 4 Years of Blogging… And an Announcement!” →

10 Ways to Feel Less Hopeless When Chronically Ill

Published on April 25, 2018 by DreamingPanda8 Comments

“I just can’t keep going.”

“I feel completely hopeless.”

“How can anyone live like this?”

These messages come to my inbox nearly every week from kids and teenagers who think PANS or Lyme is the end of the life they once loved; from adults who’ve been fighting for years, unsure how much longer they can go through the cycle of relapse, treatment, and recovery; and even from parents who are tired of being too strong for too long.

Continue reading “10 Ways to Feel Less Hopeless When Chronically Ill” →

Why Therapy Isn’t Enough When You Have OCD & PANS/PANDAS

Published on February 7, 2018July 1, 2023 by DreamingPanda22 Comments

This week, I made the mistake of reading the PANDAS Wikipedia page, and now I’m boiling over:

“Treatment for children suspected of PANDAS is generally the same as standard treatments for [Tourette Syndrome] and OCD. These include therapy and medications…”

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In Response to Your Lyme Questions…

Published on January 25, 2017 by DreamingPanda13 Comments

Ever since I announced my Lyme diagnosis, I’ve been inundated with questions from readers. While I’m not qualified to give anyone medical advice, I’ll gladly share my own personal experiences. Given the number of messages I’ve received, I figured I should answer the most common questions in a post for all of you, so here you go: Continue reading “In Response to Your Lyme Questions…” →

IVIG #3: Third Time’s a Charm

Published on August 16, 2016 by DreamingPanda14 Comments

Could IVIG #3 be the end of PANS for me?

Today, just two weeks after my third IVIG, I’m happy to say I’ve made tremendous progress. I’m no longer afraid of food and calories, so I’ve probably gained back about half of the weight I lost. I’ve gotten strong enough to run (slowly). My POTS symptoms are basically gone, and my parents have told me that there’s life in my eyes again. Oh, and I’ve even finished all of the summer coursework for the classes I had to take incompletes in—including a twelve-page research paper!

So am I better now? Is life perfectly peachy now that I’ve had IVIG? Continue reading “IVIG #3: Third Time’s a Charm” →

Why Antibiotics Are Necessary for PANS

Published on May 9, 2016 by DreamingPanda11 Comments

Sometimes, you have to try a few antibiotics for PANS before you find the right one.

Since being diagnosed with PANS, I’ve been on antibiotics for twenty months straight, save for one two-week break. I’ll continue until six months after my last symptom, or at the very least, through my senior year of college.

Continue reading “Why Antibiotics Are Necessary for PANS” →

Treatment Is a Kitchen Sink?

Published on March 29, 2016 by DreamingPanda2 Comments

Treating PANS can mean trying the whole kitchen sink.

When I was first diagnosed with PANDAS in 2014, my doctor said the treatment plan was to give me “the whole kitchen sink.” In other words, I would receive the full range of therapies, many of them all at once. It was unscientific, since this made it hard to tell which treatments turned out to be the most effective, but for a girl who could hardly walk and had lost over 10% of her body weight, this approach was necessary.

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What I Wish I Knew Before IVIG

Published on August 17, 2015 by DreamingPanda7 Comments

There are some things doctors don't tell you about recovery... — There are some things doctors don’t tell you about recovery…

Last week, I celebrated the one-year mark since my first IVIG. It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year, yet my recovery has seemed to go so much slower than I thought it would.

There are many things that no one ever told me before my first IVIG. I was warned about the fatigue and nausea and headaches afterward and the post-IVIG flare that would come in a few weeks. I was even warned it could take a year before all my symptoms went away, but I was never told what that year might be like.

Continue reading “What I Wish I Knew Before IVIG” →

Let It Roll: OCD & Trail Biking

Published on June 1, 2015 by DreamingPanda2 Comments

Recently, I’ve taken up trail biking, and strangely, there are a lot of parallels between becoming a trail biker and overcoming OCD…

Ever since last summer, I’ve been apprehensive about getting on a bike, considering that my legs used to give out on me frequently when I walked. If one of these attacks happened as I rode a bike at 20 mph down a road, I could get seriously hurt.

But this week, I got back on my bike anyway and rolled into the woods, following a friend of mine who’s an avid trail biker.

Continue reading “Let It Roll: OCD & Trail Biking” →

What’s It Like to Survive a Flare?

Published on April 6, 2015 by DreamingPanda9 Comments

This week, I finally hit the post-IVIG flare that we were all dreading. Thanks to a six-day burst of high-dose Prednisone, I’ve come out of it now, but I hope I don’t have to go through that ever again. Unfortunately, I probably will.

Until my most recent IVIG, my flares were getting worse and worse. One night a few weeks ago, I found myself spacing out at the kitchen table for about two hours, unable to make myself get up, because I had too many OCD compulsions. When I realized I’d been doing nothing for two hours and thought about how hard it would be to do anything with the burden of OCD, I just lost it—I spent twenty minutes walking around my apartment screaming and hitting the walls.

Continue reading “What’s It Like to Survive a Flare?” →