After ten months flaring off and on, it’s abundantly clear I’m now in a full-blown PANS relapse. Yes, there’s been OCD, anxiety, tics, depression, and food issues. But they all come and go. What never leaves, and is in fact worsening, is a loss of coordination and motor planning abilities. I’ve never seen an article on PANDAS/PANS and dyspraxia, so it’s time to raise the alarm on this absolute menace of a symptom.
Had I known this fact, I could have saved myself years of suffering and self-loathing. I ask you to please consider sharing this post to help me help the next person who needs to know about dyspraxia. Now, let’s take a deep dive into what PANDAS/PANS and dyspraxia look like and how to help…
Each year, it seems like parents lead the conversation. Some of this is because many who live with PANS are too young or too incapacitated to do it themselves. And I am so grateful for parents’ incredible efforts in raising awareness for this devastating illness––please keep it up. However, in order to be most effective, the conversation on awareness needs to center on what it’s like for the patients who actually live with the condition. We, the patients, are the ones who need the cures, so our voices should be amplified when possible.
I encourage all of you to not only post stories from parents’ perspectives tomorrow, but to also share stories from people who have lived with this condition themselves. I have compiled a list of what I think are my best advocacy essays and top posts on what PANS/PANDAS is a like, a guest post by another adult with PANS, and the Neuroimmune Foundation’s collection of patient stories. Please consider sharing at least one of these on your social media:
Ever since the beginning of the pandemic and the first mention of vaccine development, there has never once been a doubt in my mind about whether or not I would take it when available to me––of course I would get the shot to protect myself and those around me.
That decision may not seem noteworthy to most, but for me, as someone with a neuroimmune condition that can be triggered by vaccines, many people would say I had every reason not to get vaccinated. But considering only the theoretical risk of a vaccine without considering the benefits is short-sighted and irrational.
On this Rare Disease day, for the 1000th time, let me clear something up and then show you how to fix it:
PANS/PANDAS is not rare, and it’s not only kids that have it. So please, stop referring to it as a “rare pediatric disorder.”
Current estimates say that PANS/PANDAS affects 1 in 200 kids. And since nothing magical happens when a person turns eighteen, you can be sure there are thousands and thousands of adults walking around who grew up and never got treated.
I have been advocating for awareness for nearly seven years, ever since I was diagnosed at age nineteen. We have seen much progress in research, but when I can still go to a doctor and hear “rare” and “pediatric,” it feels like I’ve been screaming into a void for all this time. And I realize that I am only one of thousands of advocates who probably feel the same. So if we haven’t been able to achieve major reforms in the treatment of this disorder so far, what are we missing?
As an adult with a neuroimmune condition that most doctors don’t know how to diagnose, let alone treat, all too often, I’ve felt like there was nothing I could do to change their minds. I would bring papers and mention the many fine hospitals that are researching PANS only to be dismissed and gaslighted. Why? Partly due to arrogance or wanting to maintain the status quo. But these behaviors have their root in the “P” being for pediatric, the fact none of the research studies mention adults, and the lack of enough large-scale studies in general.
Have you ever felt alone and frustrated by how little help is available while you watch your life waste away?